Conversations with a Rickshaw-wallah

I had a date with my past yesterday.
Vineet, my cherubish , cool and politickally enthused friend ( and ex-colleague from our first employer , GIL ) got married a few days ago. I was supposed to meet up with a friend @ NalStop(Kothrud) in Pune and continue to the location of the reception. Left my place at 8 ish and hailed for a rick. This rickshaw-wallah(rw#1-not to be confused with a Govinda movie) was a king of his domain and wasnt keen on moving beyond his territorial Koregaon Park(KP) wallah customers.But he promised that he would get me a ride who could take me to Nalstop.We proceeded to move to a location in KP which is infested with uber-cool trendy youth , hopeless wannabes , maroon clad Yoshoite-robotrons ,lusty gawkers and crafty hawkers,cafes and land of the low cut Pepes.This melting pot of KP also has a rickshaw wallahs stand,which is supposed to cater to the travelling woes of the tripping customer.Like everything else in KP, this place was also a Facade, revealing more cousins and relatives of our rw#1. No one was keen to go to Nalstop.Suddenly Nalstop was like some unknown uncharted realm from star trek.And I felt more like Captain Haddock than Kirk (billions of blue blistering barnacles..**&&$*%###!)
Rw#1 pointed out that I was ready to pay 20 Rs. more , which lead to some enthused queries .By the way, even I realised I was supposed to be ready to pay 20 Rs. more at the same time as the lusty rws.Finally one of the rws caved in and got ready for the perilious journey.I had to part with 20 Rs. more but decided to make it worthwhile.And so the conversation began.

* The following conversation has been translated from Marathi to the universal language of mankind(oops humankind) by the highly recommended Galactic Translator Ver. 80.02.o4NC.


Me: Damn. Why does it get so cold in Pune nowadays?!
( Rhetoric)
Rw:Saab, it is the winter season. Pune is notorious for its cold.Even the Phoreigners feel cold.
Pointing towards a maroon caped Phantomish furry character.Closer visual inspection revealed it to be amply endowed caucasian female with red frilly hair.Suddenly I felt warm.
Me: Oh--! I thought it was because I had left my fridge door open.
Rw:no response.
Me:? Bah .Humbug.No wonder sarcasm is the highest form of wit.

Captains log Stardate 2005.12.28.20.12.35 .Din of traffic.Voyage has started on a dour note.
Pollution and cold copulate and spew forth the seeds of their union.The gods of traffic receive sacrifice in the form of my abuses.Phonecall from friend revealed he had already reached the rendezvous while I was pitifully stuck in a chilly traffic jam 10 mins from home.Change of plan ensues.Jam breaks. We resume.

Me:Hey.Sonia Gandhi was in town .
Rw: Ho saab. She had come today to address the congress in a meet.
Me: I would have never known if it werent for the trash wallowing on the road bearing signs of the meet.
Rw:She has come here after a long time.Its been years since a CWC president has visited Pune.
Me:Impressed by Rws political depth and insight. So. Which party do you support?
Rw:Rajsahebs Party( Raj Thackerey)
Me:He hasnt floated his own party yet,has he?
Rw:He will.Soon.
Me:So you are supporting him ?
Rw:Totally.
Me:At least he didnt go ahead and join the Congress or the NCP, like Rane.
Rw:Rane was hasty.If he would have waited, he could have left with Raj.
Me:That means he could join with Raj once Raj floats his own party.Right?
Rw: Confident .That would never happen.
Me:Why?
Rw:Raja ( suddenly Raj becomes Raja..King indeed) would never let that happen.
Me:I didnt get you.
Rw:Raja wanted to win the Mumbai Municipal Seats.That is the main reason he split.

Suddenly its like NDTVs big fight.Im Rajdeep Sardesai and Rw is one of the insighful political analysts who frequent that show.

Me:Thats ridiculous.How could he permanently sever ties with his mentor over such a trivial issue as Mumbais Municipal Electorate.
Rw:Bahga,thats what happened.AND he is going to win Mumbai.Eventually. ( Mercurial rise of verbal action and rickshaws speed reaction)
Me:Whoa.Better calm down. Mind the traffic!

We just manage not to kiss a hawker who seemed to be on a death wish.Yama must have been miffed.Suddenly,Like a Premature Ejaculation, the auto jerked and stopped.Darn.Another traffic Jam!

Me: So the split was more of a personal tiff than an ideological issue.
Rw:Yes. Other members of the Party are jealous of raja.
Me:Who?
Rw:No reply.

Me: Rant. Why did they build such a ridiculous bridge like this one (Garware Circle)?
Rw:So people can cross the road from below.
Me:But its such a congested place. If they would have kept a T intersection it would have also resulted in similar traffic jams.
Rw:No reply

A budding beggar girl approches the rick and becomes teary eyed at the drop of a hat...I ignore her.She does the routine.I decide not to budge.Traffic breaks.She leaves .

Me:Thank god! ( which is ironic for an atheist like me)
Rw: Jubilant.See saheb.That ST bus has broken down.Thats the reason for the Jam.
Me: Yeah yeah. All hail the bridge!So this is Paud Road, right?
Rw: No saheb.This is Karve road.
Me:Thats what I said , didnt I?
Rw:Silent.I hear cursing under his breath.
Me:Ah.The pleasure of bugging someone.Swear words are the highest form of praise for a bugger like me. 20 rs vasool!!

We proceed to reach our destination soon.Monetary transaction happened.I was poorer in cash but rich in enthusiasm.Rw became richer but had to endure my bugging all the while.

Fair exchange, no?

And so it begins...

The Bad.

A scream cuts thru the vapid moon-night,
Your shadow falls across the dark gloomy sky,
As the dogs of mania wade thru my bloodstream,
Sniffing for a trace of my grit, emotions coalesce .

In the surreal landscape of my nous,
I sense a vestige of you,
eschew your gaze , While I
swallow the spue of my fear.

Sink in the cesspit of my perspiration, As I
Its malodor reflects my persona,
I steel myself for whats coming next,
A lost battle, a half hearted ploy.


The Good.

Another victim breathes no more,
Another life broken evermore,
Another breach of demeanour,
Another percept consecrated forever and ever.

Ineptitude bites me,
The ghosts of my past torment,
Those lingering moments of pain that gnaws,
The guilt of losing a loved one.

Slowly but surely, the rage boils over,
Calmly but adriotly, I muster my skills,
Tho' I Abhor violence of the munitions kind,
I mask myself one last time ,
To hunt for the final kill.

The ?

Unseen, unknown,unheard, I witness
Uncountable acts of evil and pestilence
And I record , unmoved .
Events,effects and consequences,
Moments,aftermaths and outcomes,
Deeds,exploits and feats,
Triumphs,losses and stalemates.

You wonder about me, who is s/he?
For I am not providence, Providence is not me.
Verily, I am an enigma of a dead thought.
The butterfly the catcher in the rye never caught.

Blind,I envisage the confrontation,
As they clash, inverses of each other,
Dark thunder claps in unison,
As if exhilerated by the conflict being fought.

What ? Saw

I foresee the evil one first.
(Can you also smell his fear through the layers of his makeup?)

He,the senile crimelord ,the mental master,
He,the disturbed assassin,the delirious brother,
He,the demented father, the insane engender,
He,the joker in the pack.
He,the man with the vile smile.

Under the grim dismal sky,
when the clock struck midnight,
He awaits the coming,
Of his bete noir, his anathema.


I feel the good ones burden.
(Can you also touch his guilt, his torment, his fear of failure?)

Like the black waters of styx, his cape,
Like the frigid pits of Dis, his eyes,
Like the brittle ice of Nilfheim , his emotions,
Like the cold whiff of Cocytus,his breath.
He,the dark creature of the night,
He,the bat out of hell.

They measure each other,
Enemies,Foes,Opponents,Nemeses.
Under the dismal,dour night sky of Gotham,
I hear the alarm bells ringing in Arkham.

And so...it begins...




// Footnote: Batman always fascinated me during my childhood.He being the only super hero without any super-powers.Morose,grim,cold and scary.He was. I also feel the Joker is very much afraid of the Bat, no wonder the grease-paint. Humour is a good way of making oneself feel better, especially when one is scared. I have no idea what Bob Kane had in mind when he created the Joker.But the Joker was and will always remain the Bats Enemy #1. ? is a figment of my imagination.Maybe ? is Me,maybe ? is you,maybe ? is Bob Kane. ? Is NOT the Riddler.

R)han